imaginary friend..

i showed up to work one day with a black eye.
i told them my imaginary friend punched me; which HE DID. out of spite...and begging for attention.
lemme go back here a bit.
i have an imaginary friend who demands high levels of attention.
he's fairly polite at times. mostly when there's other people around. he doesnt say much and takes the fall for when i say something stupid. he's ok with me blaming it on him. as if it was his idea. SOMEHOW, this seems like a generous gesture and a good idea to him. i disagree.
SO; anyways, one day i was... convinced by my closest of close friends to try and grow up, as a human being and a good start would be NOT exactly getting a job, BUT...  getting rid of my imaginary friend.
i was persuaded, i tried, i GOT a job, and for a while, every time my dearest figment of my imagination would talk to me... Id ignore him.
this STARTED out bad... got worse... and then... HE decided, HE decided to do everything possible to get me to talk to him.
so i was in kitchen, and as we all know, a bachelor like myself in the kitchen is ALWAYS  a horrible idea.. cus of the knives, the fire and of course, the curiosity to explore the mechanics of the garbage disposal.
i was making a sandwich for myself and i was boiling water, my imaginary friend had some suggestions" on what else the sandwich should have. NOT gonna explain why but, adding peanut butter was a good idea, only, i smeared it with a spoon. my imaginary friend insisted on adding more, but as i refused and ignore... the spoon went for my eye...
MULTIPLE times. EVEN when i hit the floor and my sandwich fell apart.
7 minutes later, i get up, covered in condiments and non-organic veggies... and my face hurt... A LOT.
So, i checked myself in the mirror (like you do) and there it was: a SHINER. falling asleep was quiet for once. we both felt awkward afterwards...
SO, we;re on speaking terms, but we ARE discussing.. certain aspets of out maturity, but in the mean time; it's safe to say he;s NOT going anywhere.

By the time i was done telling this story at work (cus they asked)... most of them gave me that stare and asked the same question: peanut butter with OTHER condiments? dude, you're gross.

praise to the illoscent.

once upon a time, a dream died.
'twas lonely and unspoken when everyone woke up.

the missing piece was already broken.

chasing a dream..

was like watching a falling star...
if i stood still i'd just watch it go away... but if i ran after it...

i WILL go nowhere and i WILL eventually crash...

but i chased it.
...and it looked GREAT.

the neighborhood moved UP.

positive thinking...

see? if i start digging SIDEWAYS here, this wont be a hole, but rather, an entrance to my cave. :D

positive thinking...

see? if i start digging SIDEWAYS here, this wont be a hole, but rather, an entrance to my cave. :D

locked in a think tank with squids and sharks.

sometimes, awareness is a bitch.

most days, knowing you're an overgrown teenager is fun for the insanity you can come up with...
but other days... when you're self-aware, it's a bit pathetic to accept how immature you really are.

class of 2000, suck my dick.

fable

Bart realized his years of experience were a failure, since he couldn't punch a hole through the roof when his house flooded.
once the windows broke and the water cae out, he had already drowned.
he also forgot about the chimney.