d

the lucky ones are the ones that die happy because they dont care about the patterns in their lives.

the man in the vessel.

the man in the vessel came to save the world.
he switched the lights out
and told us we were haunted.
he wrapped up in his clouds
imported, free of charge
and claimed we were in debt.

by the time we found the keys,
we were already in his shackles
grateful he had come to save the world.


xx- from the night with love...
ps. keep being dead.

we were on auto-pilot

cruise thru every planet
pass me on the mines
critical constructions were meant to fail.
abandon the guides
push the autopilot
and yell GO!

lyrics from a choir

dont forget to lock the door
when you come in, for, you
could be anyone
and a danger to yourself.

at least you wont bother anyone about your troubles.

press the print into your chest
and claim that you felt a pain
and some are lucky
to believe you.

at least you wont bother anyone about your troubles.
and the bells will break
and the clouds will fade
but the sun was never in the sky
and the sun was never fantasized
so you wont bother everyone at once.

so dont forget to luck the door.

thoughts while sketching:

the sense of disappearing next to your achievements.

ATM...

how long before they give ATMs the function to give you the SPECIFIC amount you prefer?
you could even choose how to break it.
$12 = 5 fives, a 1 and 4 quarters. AWESOME!

i'm sure they're working on it...

SO, when wil they have the movie theater experience where, once you put on your 3d glasses, if those are still around, you can adjust the screen to your personal settings, you can fiddle with camera moves AND zoom in or out.
the screen still looks the same size, but you see what you want to see.

so... your life needed fixing and you decided to come here and ruin things?
great.

the him and her dialogues:

her: You;re better than that! grow up.
him: well, if i grew up, then i WOULDNT be better, now, would i?

him: well, look who's getting older as others around grow up...
her: yeah, well, you smelll like poop anyways.

him: you know, if we were the same gender. we'd agree more.
her: BULLSHIT.

you're mistaken.

you mistook my apathy for confidence.
it's not that i was sure of myself, i frankly didnt give a fuck about what you were saying.

mother nature/

mother nature isnt cruel
mother nature isnt kind
mother nature's not you mother.
mother nature's not immoral.

mother nature doesnt care.
mother nature has not manners
mother nature simply is..
where you live and where you'll be.

words...

they're just words: they dont have to mean anything...
oh, how astute of you to deprive the function of communication..


...asshole.

peanuts...

i identify with peanuts, the comic strip because:

I love Beethoven like Schroeder.
I dream like snoopy.
I am codependent and analyze like Linus.
I can be obnoxious like Sally.
I am as intentionally messy like Pigpen.
I feel failure like Charlie.
I like being a sidekick like Marcy.
I talk to children like a teacher.
I tend to demand control, unaware I'm the neurotic like Lucy.

marks

wanting to make a mark when i realized it's an intangible world.

imaginary friend..

i showed up to work one day with a black eye.
i told them my imaginary friend punched me; which HE DID. out of spite...and begging for attention.
lemme go back here a bit.
i have an imaginary friend who demands high levels of attention.
he's fairly polite at times. mostly when there's other people around. he doesnt say much and takes the fall for when i say something stupid. he's ok with me blaming it on him. as if it was his idea. SOMEHOW, this seems like a generous gesture and a good idea to him. i disagree.
SO; anyways, one day i was... convinced by my closest of close friends to try and grow up, as a human being and a good start would be NOT exactly getting a job, BUT...  getting rid of my imaginary friend.
i was persuaded, i tried, i GOT a job, and for a while, every time my dearest figment of my imagination would talk to me... Id ignore him.
this STARTED out bad... got worse... and then... HE decided, HE decided to do everything possible to get me to talk to him.
so i was in kitchen, and as we all know, a bachelor like myself in the kitchen is ALWAYS  a horrible idea.. cus of the knives, the fire and of course, the curiosity to explore the mechanics of the garbage disposal.
i was making a sandwich for myself and i was boiling water, my imaginary friend had some suggestions" on what else the sandwich should have. NOT gonna explain why but, adding peanut butter was a good idea, only, i smeared it with a spoon. my imaginary friend insisted on adding more, but as i refused and ignore... the spoon went for my eye...
MULTIPLE times. EVEN when i hit the floor and my sandwich fell apart.
7 minutes later, i get up, covered in condiments and non-organic veggies... and my face hurt... A LOT.
So, i checked myself in the mirror (like you do) and there it was: a SHINER. falling asleep was quiet for once. we both felt awkward afterwards...
SO, we;re on speaking terms, but we ARE discussing.. certain aspets of out maturity, but in the mean time; it's safe to say he;s NOT going anywhere.

By the time i was done telling this story at work (cus they asked)... most of them gave me that stare and asked the same question: peanut butter with OTHER condiments? dude, you're gross.

praise to the illoscent.

once upon a time, a dream died.
'twas lonely and unspoken when everyone woke up.

the missing piece was already broken.

chasing a dream..

was like watching a falling star...
if i stood still i'd just watch it go away... but if i ran after it...

i WILL go nowhere and i WILL eventually crash...

but i chased it.
...and it looked GREAT.

the neighborhood moved UP.

positive thinking...

see? if i start digging SIDEWAYS here, this wont be a hole, but rather, an entrance to my cave. :D

positive thinking...

see? if i start digging SIDEWAYS here, this wont be a hole, but rather, an entrance to my cave. :D

locked in a think tank with squids and sharks.

sometimes, awareness is a bitch.

most days, knowing you're an overgrown teenager is fun for the insanity you can come up with...
but other days... when you're self-aware, it's a bit pathetic to accept how immature you really are.

class of 2000, suck my dick.

fable

Bart realized his years of experience were a failure, since he couldn't punch a hole through the roof when his house flooded.
once the windows broke and the water cae out, he had already drowned.
he also forgot about the chimney.

still space inspired..

inspired by a song.

even in space, destined to survive.
i'm breaking the helmets if you're taking me with you.
'cus despite the science, all the planets are the same.

spiderhorse

midnight ventures

we wanna see the stars but refuse to cut the lights.

plot

the main plot of a character's arc is to support other characters.

art

math

Community is when the result is larger than the sum of its parts while valuing the independence of those parts

i never dream after dripping skies.

Charlotte

Charlotte was the tinker toy who played lullabies during work hours.

freaks

she cried out/

para-noia

like a quadruped, when i try to reach out, i bite.

featherbrains

Birds also fly.

dead as hope rises.

a tale and two pictures...

WHen the mouse woke up, after everyone was asleep, he came tot he realization that his duty was to keep the house safe.

writer:

Having the urge to quote, she stopped to think how to say it in her own way...

omega and alpha

if,...

if i could say i hate you, i'd lie to you to your face.

life was sweet, so we balanced it with bitter drinks.

aww.. how cute.. you thought of this yourself?

if Death is to be an emotional state without the perception of time, then Life is to be the emotional states  through time in a single space.

the third option...

every time there's an either/or...
the 3rd option is "FUCK YOU!"
...'cus...
at the acknowledgement of fate, one can always refuse and reject every other option.

a romantic chat

-i saw a shooting star and thought of you.
-that was a plane crashing...



-... oh. well... THAT explains a lot...

nightmare...

and in my nightmare, people were only in peace when they were in comfort and pleased... either by being spoiled or by seeing other suffer more.

even the blank slate has a perimeter.

the "less" mentioned...

ok.. personal note... rather... FANATIC note.
HUGE disney fan AND proud.

we've all heard the "princesses" talk. Who are the disney princesses, what makes them iconic role models, all the pros and cons to each, etc..

YET... rarely do we hear a about the FANTASTIC heroines and lead ladies of the disney Universe, ONLY because they are not princesses...\
SO.. without further Adue.

THE THREE fairies from Sleeping beauty ARE the main characters/heroines of the film. they are proactive female leads, they play the role of Guardians to the  protagonist (the princess is NOT the main character in this interpretation of the tale), they push the plot forward by taking the princess to the cottage, raising her and when it comes to need, finding the means to rescue her for a second time (first time was when she was a baby) by going after the prince, rescuing him AS WELL, and providing Phillip with the mighty ARSENAL to take down the villain.
NOW, due to some mechanical arrangements that exist within the disney universe of male/female main characters and rules on HOW to take down the Villain, Maleficent is struck down by Phillip (male+ secondary character= allowed to kill villain), but his sword is "empowered" by Flora so it wouldn't miss...

Alice.. is referenced quite often, so... GO HER!

Wendy... a VERY strong young girl who NOT ONLY preaches the power of imagination and games, but also recognizes that her father is NOT the bad guy, but his father's perception to stories IS an enemy. She also refuses to follow orders form an Indian mother, recognizes that the mermaids were only interested in Peter Pan for Shallow reasons and remains loyal to Peter Pan unconditionally.
STILL, she holds the hand of reason by acknowledging that fun and games in excess is NOT a good thing, which causes conflicts with Peter Pan, and EVEN THEN, she wishes him well after she decides to go home. Wendy retains her faith that PETER WILL save them, even tho they had just had a fight, and that he will do the right thing. by the end, she understands WHY Peter would NOT wanna leave Neverland, yet happy that she WILL grow-up.

the blue fairy from pinocchio: THANKS! for granting second chances even when they're NOT deserved.

.. ok, imma get back to work, so.. enough for now, but there's MORE on this.. Lilo, her sister, the captain from treasure planet, Jane, Mulan, esmeralda, Megara, that little girl who gives Mogli a good reason to grow  up and leaeve the jungle, penny from the rescuers, oh well...

sorta-f...

i'm a wet open book.
exposed, but all the pages are are stuck together, you cant tell what's on either side and the ink MAY smudge.


yet.. i COULD be trusted...

you are excellent at hiding the things no one is looking for.

fiction/reality.

when i read and watch stories and identify with the heroic figure, because i look up to him/her... and then i realize, i'm a sidekick. i'm a supporting character with a of growth to accomplish for a greater goal.

content.

VEnon's TAlk.

vines and gears and drips

it's every time i think of writing you a letter, the organic perspective of y mechanical methods provokes me to lose my sense of balance and fall slowly towards the floor.

spinning in triptychs, i recite your words and realize that i havent been listening, so, what may i write if it's an inaccurate answer to what i thought you said.

...And i build the machine again, dripping sweat by the effort, with hope to continue something as sweet and organic like our words in a choir.

SPRAY PAINT the blackboards!

sitting in class, recording and not learning..

war-n-ing

pages

page

after suicide attempts

any breath after a suicide attempt is a struggle for survival.

apathy

perfection

LETS MEET.

height perspective

My height only distracts your attention form where you are astanding.

NOT TODAY!

the importance of chess pieces

to the average player: THE KING.

to the religious: THE BISHOPS

to the communist: THE PAWNS

to the materialists: THE ROOK

to a MAN: THE KNIGHTS

to a MAN with a girlfriend: THE QUEEN.

note the value of my coffee...

i KNOW i got my money's worth when i payed 77 cents for a cup of coffee that was TREMENDOUSLY light, DISGUSTINGLY watery... AND in a styrofoam cup...

there WAS a smile there... but HIGHLY cynical to how penny pinching got the best of me when i thought FUCK YOU corporate coffee house across the street! i'm going the Frugal route and shopping at  a mom & pop gas station... 
yeah... first of all, the clerk did NOT move the whole time i was there... DIDNT move. just stared at me with a squinty look, mouth half open, dropped arms, NO support from his shoulder, MORE fat in his body than a can of grease...
BARELY moved his hand to ring me up... AND DID not bother to tell me their coffee machine was broken, so he had just sold me a cup of COLD WATERY "coffee".
he probably pissed in it.
i think he's dead now. i dunno. i went back there a few days later and there was ANOTHER clerk, so i assumed the other died of a HEART attacked from laughing at me. but this time, i only bought one of those shitty moonpies that TASTE SO GOOD, but also like DEATH. you know what "little debbie" type of bullshit treats i'm typing about? YEAH, that. that's ALL i got in honor to the lack of guilt i had for possibly, POSSIBLY being responsible for the death of a tubby wanker who FORGOT TO TELL ME "HEY!! dont BUY OUR SHIT COFFEE!" be man!, have an ENERGY drink! i PEED ON THOSE TOO!
i took me 77 cents to kill a guy.. all because of some grind-filled- cold-DECAF drink.

be careful out there.. dont get had like I did... cus if you do... YOU KNOW you deserve it.

the positive thing about apathy

the positive thing about apathy is the indifference to personal distastes...

perfection =

idealism + reality = perfection

mundane + platonic = perfection

ambition + grasp = perfection

nature + violence =  perfection

sarcasm + bullshit = perfection

strategies + irony = perfection

there IS a difference...

between  a children's museum
and a children museum.

leader..

fear the leader who sits on a throne as oppose to next to you.

hmm..

i dont wanna do for money the same things i could do for free...

i'll finally say it...

i'm sorry i was never him.

suicidal trees.

i'd bet suicidal trees smile a lot more than we assume.

are you the one scream "let's have silence!" ?

using cards to buy cards..

I'm gonna remember the day when we're buying cards with cards. NO not hallmark cards, not thank, happy birthday or congratulations cards. simple "product" cards. gift cards, bonus cards, "use this to shop on-line" cards... AND paying with the wonderful credit or debit card... No wonder there's no more CDs, book or movies in stores. they really ALL did move to the other world; the on-line world. NOT THAT IT'S A NEGATIVE thing, but simply a call to analyze the drastic change in our materialistic thinking. there are no more objects to be bought, rather an object to buy them with. And what's gonna happen when we eliminate the middle man. when you only use your pocket-size life container, also known as your phone/computer/agenda/ID to capture the item of your interest, or at least the code you need to acquire, press "capture" and log to you account to pay for it and utilize as you will. the biggest worries for these costumers will be if there's either web access or if the battery is low the same way we use to worry about having out wallets in oir pockets or if we had enough cash to pay for that one special impulsive desire that added to our consumerist life-style. i repeat: this is not a negative perspective. simply a call for reflexion and analysis. cashier will not be necessary, but an assistant shopper will be. carts will not be necessary but addition RAM will be. you will not need to go out and do any of these things, but transportation WILL be as much as the rare desire to go out in the day and simply take a walk for the sake of change of scenery. ON this walk the brian will exercise some critical thinking as to why computer are now soluble and digestible and how wonderful it is to be on-line without the weight of a device. maybe an ancient instinct sparks the decision to log out as you walk into the store and buy for the first time in a long time, a bottle of organic apple juice in addition to your new apps in the actual store. And as ou reach for your pocket, you think... how silly of you; you left your wallet at home. no card to buy cards or that tempting juice. But it's ok... just log back on and forget you ever had this urge to behave so primitive-esque. purchase your indulgence and head back home to post a comment about it next to your opinion on the most recent on-line video.

DEBATE YOUR THRESHOLD!

we all have'em...

cannibal

do you follow monsters who claim to fight against them? do you think you'd be better off if you wandered away on your own...? Even in the dark, even dizzy by the noise... even clueless as what what is there to see if light was shed over the darkness you walk on... would you trust your ignorance in order to pursue acknowledgement...? are you aware of who you follow? are you aware of who you follow with? are you aware of who is following you? dear human... are you moster being followed? Do you claim the ability to fight monsters? do you know where you're heading? are they coming to you? are you going to them? do you know where you are?

there are no longer JUST storyteller...

now we also have story-participants...

never trust a drunk editor... OR a sober writer.

she said...

pay attention, but dont comment.

events...

when something happens only once, it's a miracle. when you make it happen twice, it's magic. when you know how to make it happen a third time... THAT is science.

on religion...

Do Alien have souls? what religion would they be? you think they'd pick one when they get here? or, would they try to convert us to theirs? i mean.. they DID come here from far away.. they probably know something WE dont... they COULD be right about spirituality and the universe and all that stuff we sometimes pay too much attention to... would they laugh or respect ours? aliens... please speak up...

NOT that you're lying...

Not that you're lying, but someone else could be stating a fact that you havent been aware of or have not, validly, acknowledge.

when it comes to my own stupidity...

when it comes to my own stupidity: a) i am aware of it. b) i embrace it. c) i constantly make fun of it. d) I try not to conform to it by learning to be not as stupid as i know i am.

second chances.

mistakes happen. corrections require the opportunity.

an object's life.

when an object exists, not much value is given to it when it's just an object. it is loved dearly for its nostalgic value; what it has seen thru the years. OH how lovely words it would say if it could talk and tell the history its owner lived as if it were only yesterday. when it is new, it is excited and valued for its novelty. that clean smell; that innocence it has before its involvement in the owner's life. what great future it has to look forward to as it accompanies its possessor towards undiscovered roads. how much it will mean to survive along with its owner. and when it is old, what stories it will tell that will begin always when the object was brand new... but all along the between, before it is old, after it has been new... well... it is, after all... only an object.

raise your hands

anyone who thinks they're the exception to the rule, please raise your hands..

i read your diary...

because i forget things about you i care about, but i'm sure would annoy you i i re-ask for the 5th time.

FUN with words!

painT
dieT
loOK
RE-ad
dEATh
sEX

SONG

on the border, i yelled...

DONT HOP THE FENCE! IT'S A CAGE IN HERE!

NOTHING

long days...

Days that  i'm grateful for So often being wrong...

re-discover, re-un-cover, re-find, re-look, re-search, re-learn, re-doubt...

and nothing was for granted.